2009

So incredibly late, well i actually wrote this earlier in the week not intending for it to be on the interweb, but HEY nobody reads this anyways :) - if you are reading this, yes i know it won't make sense...the expanded version is safely away in my journal up in my room - AND I'm procrastinating, so hopefully after this, the coffee I had will kick in and I'll be conscious enough to get some studying done :)
 

2009, by far the CRAZIEST year yet .
Experienced the lowest low to the highest high and went from being as far from God as anyone could be to where I am now (learning more everyday).
2009 made me a better person.
2009 taught me countless life lessons that I will NEVER forget.
2009 was a good year.
 

In 2009, I was in a relationship.
In 2009, he left me.
In 2009, I blocked my feelings away and lived like a robot.
In 2009, I was hit with the hardest punch of emotion that nearly suffocated me.
In 2009, I pretended to be okay.
In 2009, I went to Florida without my parents
In 2009, I was so confused about boys, I never thought I would have anyone.
In 2009, I was surprised.
In 2009, I re-discovered God and began to live again.
In 2009, I was saved...again.
In 2009, I turned 16.
In 2009, someone who was just a friend became so much more than that.
In 2009, I fell in love.
In 2009, he changed my life.
In 2009, I almost failed math class.
In 2009, I learned how to drive.
In 2009, I went to wonderland more than once.
In 2009, I went to the States to play soccer.
In 2009, I learned what it was like to have someone truly love me for who I am.
In 2009, my Âvo killed himself.
In 2009, my Tia died.
In 2009, I wished I could be in Portugal with my family.
In 2009, I ran 7k.
In 2009, I worried about my friends.
In 2009, I realized I was more than halfway done high-school, which scared the crap out of me.
In 2009, I became a better person.
 

God, thank you for this year. I'm sorry for forgetting about you.

2010 will be better!

Yes, it's in french.

Si je trouvais une lanterne magique et qu’un génie m’a accordé trios souhaits je demanderais que…


1) Je souhaiterais que l'argent et l’avidité n'ait existé pas dans ce monde. Si vous pensez à lui, la plupart des problèmes dans le monde doivent font parce que les gens veulent plus que qu'ils ont déjà.
2) Que tout le monde pourrait voir la beauté de le monde et c’est le monde qui soutient notre vie. Les gens ont besoin de se rendre compte que quelquefois les choses que nous faisons à notre monde nous reviendront…peut-être pas nous directement mais pour notre générations futures. Jamais l'action a une réaction.
3) Comme mon dernier souhait, je souhaiterais pour plus de souhaits, mais je ne pense pas qu'il serait permis. Si plutôt je demanderais pour l'amour et le bonheur éternel pour tous gens dans le monde.

Who cares what they think?

Honestly, it DOESN'T MATTER!

This fear.

Phobias.

everyone has fears. We are all afraid.

Fearlessness is not the absence of fear.

as Taylor Swift cleverly puts it, "Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death."

I mean, everyone's afraid of something, we all have phobias, no matter how mild.

Apopophobia- fear of bee's.
Spheksophobia- fear of wasps.
Coulrophobia- fear of clowns.
Agateophobia- fear of insanity.
Kakroohaphiophobia- fear of failure.
Emetophobia- fear of vomiting.
Agilophobia- fear of pain.
Podophobia- fear of feet.
Arachnophobia- fear of spiders.
Aichmophobia- fear of needles.
Nosocomephobia- fear of hospitals.

Above are my fears...some of them at least. Yeah a few are a little weird, but I'm not ashamed of them. No most of them aren't phobia's because yes i have to live with them, i mean bee's, they're everywhere; feet, I have feet...duh. My point is, these are all things that I am afraid of, things that scare me, things that I hate to go through but i know I have to. No matter how much I want to say it, I will not live my life in fear. I will not "hope" for these things to disappear from my life. If fears were non-existent, nobody would ever really go anywhere in life. Think about it, most of the time some of the best choices we make in our lives scare us shitless, but never do we end up regretting making those decisions. Why? because even if the outcome turned out for the worse, we gained knowledge, we learned. I know that fear had made me do some really stupid things, but over all those things, I can honestly say that my best choice was made despite of one of my biggest fears, and because of it I am the happiest girl in the world.

"Do one thing everyday that scares you."
- Eleanor Roosevely

TWLOHA

so I'm a day late with this post...figures....

It was awesome to see SO many people at my school with LOVE written on their arms yesterday.

I mean it's really getting the message out.

"We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be his Body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love and is revealed in our love.... We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless"

p.s Permanent marker is REALLLY hard to wash off.... :P

"Be Brave. Be Strong. Don't give up.

Expect God to get here soon."

-Psalm 31:24 (The Message)

Sometimes we just have to remember that it will be okay. No matter what.

:)

YAY for Helvetica font!
 ...just putting that out there : )